News from the Trenches: My Disability Application Story

I had my social security disability hearing today. At first, the judge made my prospects of getting my application approved sound grim. Then, out of the blue, he said if we agree to make my disability start date July 2005 as opposed to my original application begining January, 2004, he would rule from the bench rather than wait for a judgment for 3-6 months.

Now I know the law well enough to know that when a judge makes a suggestion like that, you agree to it and shut up, because you won. I agreed to give up lots of back payments, but I'm getting my money much quicker and my monthly payments will begin.

The most important thing to find if you want to apply for disability is a good doctor. A good therapist must know how to play the game. A competent attorney who specializes in disability law is secondary.

The date the judge chose as the start of my disability was when I started going to my current p-doc who is wonderful. Her notations were very descriptive. She explicitly stated that I was disabled and could not work fulltime for 1-2 years. If you have doc who will not cooperate and help you build a good record, dump him/her and find a better one.

My attorney, whom I first met today, was very nice, competent and adequetly prepared for the hearing. I was unable to find a local lawyer who would take my case so I went with the national firm of Binder and Binder. It is basically an assembly line operation which may be good because they only do disability and they get lots of documentation from the doctors.

Good luck to anyone in a situation similar to mine.

Interesting Article On Depression and a possible NEW cure

I have always dreamed of being a psychiatrist / neurologist. Why? Because I want to do research and see if there is a surgical way of supressing chronic depression. It seems like others are looking into this exact issue. The outcome? I don't know. But have a quick read of this article!

A surgical procedure used to treat the acute symptoms of Parkinson's Disease may be a major step toward successfully treating clinical depression. Scientists are claiming that they have developed a "brain pacemaker" that will virtually cure depression through electronic stimulus.The neuroscience journal, Neuron will this week publish the results of studies conducted by a team of scientists in Toronto who studied a half dozen patient volunteers who were suffering from untreatable and long-standing clinical depression.Under a local anaesthetic, each patient had 2 small holes drilled into their skulls and by way of MRIs, doctors were able to insert two electrode wires into the brain area. The other end of these two wires were threaded just below the scalp to an area at the lower neck. The next step involved a procedure under general anaesthetic whereby doctors inserted a small pacemaker-like apparatus known as a pulse generator implant. This implant was placed under the skin in the patients chest. The wires from the lower neck area were connected to this "pacemaker" causing the patient to receive constant brain stimulation.The results have been described by some as a "miracle". Only two of the volunteers, both men reported no significant changes after the implant but doctors say that the procedure will require further "fine-tuning". One of the female volunteers who was previously so effected by severe depression that she was unable to conduct normal activities of daily living, opened an antique business; another woman who was struggling daily just to cope became a community activist in her local PTA.

Social Phobia - the silent sickness

I'm not sure if any of you (who post here or view articles here) have social phobia, but I think it's an important topic to discuss.

Obviously, I have it. Many people think that having a psychological label for simple "shyness" is ridiculous. That's why I think people need to be more educated about this.

Having social phobia - is one of the worst things about my life. Here's why:

• I can't make phone calls sometimes. (if it's to someone I have never met, for example - making a doctor appointment or even ordering a pizza)
• I practically break into a cold sweat at restaurants when it's my turn to order food... And when I do order, my words usually come out wrong.
• I can't go to parties or big social gatherings because if I do, I'm so nervous about what other people think of me that I have no fun.
• This has hurt my marriage because my husband wants to be more social and he feels that he can't because of me!
• I can't begin conversations with new people I meet.
• People always have to come to me first if they want to be friends with me. I can never go to them and try and get to know them.
• I can't make small talk like most normal people can do. I often find my mind going totally blank and I often have nothing to say when around strangers.
• I have very low self esteem - which is one of the main issues of social phobia.
• People that don't know me well - often thing that I'm stuck-up, snobbish, or uppity --- which couldn't be farther from the truth.

The above are only a FEW of the problems that this disorder causes in my life. All of these problems really hurt! Social phobia can be a serious handicap to the person that has it.

So if you ever meet someone that is shy and doesn't say much - be careful not to judge them.

For more helpful information about Social Phobia - click here - or here!

My advice to those who have social phobia: When you are with a group of people and your thoughts are occupied with insecurities about what others think of you - just keep in mind that EVERYONE is somewhat insecure. And EVERYONE worries about what others think of them... The only difference is - these (normal) people push their fears off to the side and speak anyway. They are no better than you!

Scary stuff about being bipolar

I am a rapid cycler.

My therapist mentioned to me that I may be having a minor pschotic episode. While this is the first time someone has ever actually said this to me, this is not the first time that it has happened. Scary is one way to describe it. Exhausting is another. If things continue this way I may need to be hospitalized. I do not want to be hospitalized but if that's how it has to be then that is just how it has to be. I have been feeling like someone is watching me all the time now, especially since I applied for disability through social security.

All of the threats from my job and the updates are freaking me out also. I mentioned to her that I have been hearing sounds and whispers, I have been seeing things out of the corner of my eye, and have been having a hard time keeping my anger under control. Instead of allowing myself to lose control, I take ativan and or klonipin. Lamictal keeps me pretty balanced most of the time - I refused to take depakot or resperdil anymore. I am also on wellbutrin which helps the depression.

I am so hesitant to show up at the hospital and tell them that I may need to be hospitalized, or even to call the hotline-because it would be an interruption of the flow in the house. Additionally there was a recent tragedy involving a man who suffered from mental illness. He was having a major pschotic break and killed 5 people - 2 were police officers. I don't want anyone showing up at my home trying to take my son away or escorting me to the car in handcuffs.

I just don't know.

Psychosis: Bipolar disorder is often accompanied by psychosis, during which you may hallucinate or experience strange delusions. You may hear voices or see people that arent there. You may feel like someone is watching you or following you. If you are experiencing psychosis, it is important to seek immediate treatment.

Types of Bipolar DisorderThere are a number of specific types of bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder diagnosis can be difficult, but it is important to be diagnosed with one specific type in order to get proper treatment.

Bipolar I Disorder: This is the classic form of bipolar disorder and features recurrent episodes of mania and depression. You will experience periods of normal mood and activity in between your manic and depressive episodes.

Bipolar II Disorder: This form of bipolar disorder is characterized by episodes of hypomania alternating with depression. You will probably have normal periods in between these episodes.

Cyclothymic Disorder: This form of the illness is much milder, and is usually a precursor to a more serious form. It usually lasts about two years, and episodes of mania and depression typically last two months.
Mixed Bipolar: If you have mixed bipolar disorder, you experience mania and depression mixed together. You may have feelings of extreme hopelessness but feel energized and active at the same time.
Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder: Rapid cycling bipolar disorder affects at least 15% of sufferers. Signs of rapid cycling bipolar disorder include very frequent episodes of mania and depression. In order to be diagnosed with this particular type of disorder, you must experience 4 or more episodes within 12 months.

Differences Between Bipolar Disorder and Other Mood DisordersBipolar mood disorder is often confused with other mood and personality disorders, causing bipolar disorder to frequently be misdiagnosed. In particular, bipolar disorder is often mistaken for schizophrenia because of the presence of psychotic episodes. However, schizophrenics will experience delusions and hallucinations that are separate from fluctuations in mood. Instances of psychosis in bipolar disorder are always triggered by mood fluctuations.

Bipolar disorder was once thought related to major depression. Though depression does feature heavily in bipolar disorder, people suffering from major depression will not have episodes of mania.
If you think you may have bipolar disorder, it is important to seek treatment.

Information taken from:

http://www.epigee.org/mental_health/bipolar.html

the stigma has got to STOP

AUTHOR'S NOTE: SOME STRONG LANGUAGE


i dont understand it. why? why is the stigma of mental illness still being used in this day and time? why do people believe what they see portrayed on TV and in some movies as all mentally ill people are dirty, shabby, smelly, wacked-out lunatics yelling at passers-by, or bug-eyed, deranged maniacs stabbing people to death for no reason? what the fuck is up with that?

the stigma has got to STOP. NOW. people who DO NOT understand mental illness should take some time to educate themselves...since we live in the wonderful modern age of the World Wide Web, aint no excuse for a seemingly intelligent being to sit their asses down and do a search about the different types of mental illnesses, i.e., depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and the like. maybe if these ignorant assed people took the time to REALLY find out why Aunt Sue always looks off into space and says the aliens are talking to her thru the TV, or why your friend Betty or Joe are always talking fast, concocting wild ideas and partying til the wee hours only to come crashing down, or why Mom is always crying, doesnt have an interest in anything, stays in her gown/pajamas all day, wont bathe/shower, and had to be hospitalized because "she couldnt take living anymore" or Uncle Fred who jumps at the slightest noise, has nightmares and yells "INCOMING!" when a car backfires-- maybe if they REALLY REALLY got a clear understanding of why friends or loved ones act and behave the way they do, then maybe the stereotypes and stigma put upon mentally ill people will finally eradicate itself.

but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. i have seen with my own eyes people back away from a person who may, say, have schizophrenia, and the person is not bothering a soul, maybe just having a nice (or maybe not-so-nice) convo with the voices in their head, and maybe laugh out loud. i've witnessed this on the bus, where people will start whispering or twirling their index finger to their head in a circular motion meaning "that person is crazy! stay away!"

*sigh*. it really burns my ass when i see things like that. i have had people give me "the look" when i have chosen (notice the word "chosen") to disclose that i suffer from a mental illness.
the "look" i see is first one of slight fear, then a half-assed smile, then condescending words like, "oh, okay. well, you-you'll be okay." fuck, i'm not retarded (and no offense to those who are mentally challenged) i'm just a few McNuggets short of a happy meal, but i wont bite you, I PROMISE!

or worse, if you happen to say, "i suffer from depression". oh boy. then the asinine and redundant platitudes start spewing..."aw, everybody gets depressed," and "what's out there so bad you're depressed? snap out of it!" NEWS FLASH!!!!!! I CANT JUST 'SNAP OUT OF IT' OK? maybe, just MAYBE if your silly ass would READ up on depression you will actually LEARN something as to WHY i'm fucking depressed! after all READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!

dont come at me or any other person with your condescending attitudes, or belligerent bullshit about why we are mentally ill, a'ight? YOU could very well be in our shoes, AND, until YOU ignoramuses out there have sat around in your bedclothes all day long, cried unti you puked, saw or heard voices and had hallucinations, jumped at a car backfiring, woke up in a cold sweat from a recurring nightmare, went on a shopping spree maxing out all your credit cards, had your thoughts racing like the Indy 500, and then plunge down into depressive hell, or worse, planned out your death or actually attempted to end your life.....DONT YOU DARE TELL ME ABOUT ME OR ANY OTHER PERSON WHO SUFFERS FROM A MENTAL ILLNESS TO JUST "GET OVER IT"!!!!!!!!

get some EDUCATION people....because the stigma has got to STOP!

PTSD Causes and Symptoms

Not surprixingly, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) is a leader in research and information regarding Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

The National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was created within the Department of Veterans Affairs in 1989, in response to a Congressional mandate to address the needs of veterans with military-related PTSD. Its mission was, and remains: To advance the clinical care and social welfare of America's veterans through research, education, and training in the science, diagnosis, and treatment of PTSD and stress-related disorders.

PTSD is not a mental disease that only military veterans suffer. The National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder conducts research on and provides information for all who suffer, whether they be military veterans, civilian victims of war and torture, domestic violence victims, sexual assault victims or children suffering from PTSD for any reason. A good place to start for information about PTSD is a circular available here in pdf format. The information quoted below is from the VA circular.

WHAT IS POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying or scary event or experience. While it is normal for anxiety to occur right after a frightening event, PTSD develops later-sometimes weeks or months after the event.

WHAT CAUSES POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER?

The cause of PTSD is not known, but psychological, genetic, physical and social factors may contribute to it. It can develop at any age, including childhood. Personal traumatic experiences that can lead to PTSD include:

• Military combat
• Torture
• Violent personal assault (sexual assault, rape, physical attack, robbery, mugging)
• Being kidnapped
• Being taken hostage
• Experiencing natural or manmade disasters
• Severe automobile crashes
• Being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness
• Witnessing a serious injury or unnatural death of another person due to violent assault
• Unexpectedly witnessing a dead body or body parts
• Being told about a traumatic event (violent assault, serious accident, serious injury, unexpected death of a close friend or family member)
• Having suffered abuse as a child
  

WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER?

PTSD can be extremely disabling. Many people with PTSD repeatedly re-experience the frightening ordeal in the form of:

• Flashback episodes
• Memories
• Nightmares
• Frightening thoughts, especially when exposed to events or objects that remind them of the trauma
• Being easily startled
• Inability to sleep
• Being easily irritated and having angry outbursts
• Feelings of loneliness

The person with PTSD may also experience:

• Depression
• Feeling of guilt
• Substance abuse
• Overall poor memory
• Problem keeping a job
• Difficulty relating to family and friends
• Overall poor social functioning
• Multiple physical complaints
  

WHAT ARE THE RISK FACTORS?

Not everyone who lives through a terrifying event will develop PTSD. Studies have shown that the following people are most likely to develop PTSD:

• Women are more likely than men
• Individuals with a history of depression and anxiety conditions
• Persons with a history of childhood abuse
• Persons with a family history of psychiatric illness
  

The severity, duration, and closeness of your exposure to the trauma are the most important factors affecting your likelihood of developing PTSD.

I urge readers who think that they or loved ones may suffer from PTSD read the entire circular linked above and talk to a mental health professional about your concerns. I have known several veterans who suffer from severe PTSD, and it is painful to witness. Flashbacks, poor memory, isolation and rage are what I have observed as the most common characteristics of PTSD sufferers.

Schizophenia Daily News Blog

A good source of information for family members and those diagnosed with schizophrenia is the Schizophrenia Daily News Blog. The site does not post every day, but the posts are pertenent and informative. I suggest all readers of this blog bookmark that site. An example of the blog contents is the June 29, 2005 post regarding Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise and Psychiatry

Though many celebrities can use their popularity for good, the reverse is also true. Recently, the actor Tom Cruise "called psychiatry 'a pseudoscience' and dismissed the effectiveness of antidepressants." It's unfortunate that such comments were made because they have the potential of adding to stigma associated with brain disorders. In addition to these comments, Cruise suggested "that attitude adjustment alone can overcome (brain disorders)." These comments have attracted the attention of Congress and now some representatives are speaking out against what Cruise said: Rep. Tim Murphy (R-Pa.), a psychologist and...co-chair of the caucus, took issue with Cruise’s apparent belief that Read more...

The Name's Changed but the Pain's the Same

The name for what is now known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) has changed from war to war, but the outcomes haven't. People come back from wars traumatized by the stress of combat and untreated, the stress leads to very bad things. The BBC continues with its great coverage of PTSD issues.

The physical wounds left by the war in Iraq are all too easy to see. But survivors of war are often left with mental scars as well, whether they are soldiers or civilians, victors or vanquished. In this five-part series, BBC News explores what happens when the fighting stops - but the trauma continues.

World War I veterans called it shell shock.

The World War II generation talked about soldiers "going psycho".

Many Iraq vets have suffered from the loss of their comrades

Today it is called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) - psychological trauma caused by bad experiences.

Victims often find themselves having nightmares or being unable to sleep. In many cases, they have intrusive flashbacks to the events that caused the trauma.

Since the US-led invasion of Iraq in 2003, tens of thousands of US soldiers - and hundreds from the UK - have been diagnosed with PTSD and related problems such as depression.

It is much harder to get a picture of the situation in Iraq because of cultural differences and the relative lack of psychological services there.

But experts and eyewitnesses agree that the invasion and insurgency are certain to have caused serious mental health problems for many.

Emotional turmoil

Dr Jonathan Shay, a US psychiatrist who has worked with Vietnam veterans for many years, says combat stress is an age-old problem - certainly one known to the ancient Greeks.

In his book Odysseus in America, he argues that the Homeric hero was a severe combat stress case - a loner and deceiver who had murderous rages.

Society has a duty to its soldiers, advocates say

"Combat stress is as old as the human species," he says - and, in a way, a very normal phenomenon.

"It is an absolutely valid adaptation to survive in a horrific situation. In war, people really are trying to kill you. You are surrounded by enemies and have to be prepared to kill instantly to survive."

* * *
A ... US study of veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan found up to 17% suffering PTSD, depression, or general anxiety.

Imagine, if we have 150,000 troops in Iraq alone that is over 25,000 psycholigically damaged troops coming home with each rotation. That means that since the war began we have destroyed the lives of over 100,000 troops, not including the dead and physically wounded. It is likely that, over time, more PTSD cases will reveal themselves for two reasons: First, from my experience from talking to hundreds of vets who suffer from PTSD, it doesn't hit all of them immediately; and second, the military mentality encourages one to deny anything that might imply weakness, and therefore, many of the study respondents may deny symptoms of PTSD.

You think Patton was right for slapping the soldier who suffered from combat stress? Well educate yourself about the phenomenom and then reasses your position.

War Trauma is a Killer

The BBC tells of a series of studies that suggest that veterans and others who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) tend to suffer from several physical illnesses at a higher than normal rate.

Those with post-traumatic stress disorder were more likely to develop heart disease and cancer in later life than fellow war veterans, they showed.

The reasons are unclear but may be down to stress hormone levels, experts say.

New Scientist pieced together evidence including surveys of more than 18,000 who had served in the Vietnam war.

Latest research, to be published in Annals of Epidemiology, re-analysed data gathered originally by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 1985.

Dr Joseph Boscarino and his team at the New York Academy of Medicine divided the 18,000 veterans into those who suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and those who did not.

They found stark differences in death rates between the two groups over 30 years after the Vietnam war had ended.

The men with PTSD, whether because of their combat service or not, were far more likely to die from accidents, drugs or suicide.

The article goes on to state that higher rates of unhealthy lifestyles such as smoking and substance abuse do not account for the higher death rates of veterans suffering from PTSD.

Borderline Personality Disorder Stereotype

For anyone who might be wondering....

People with borderline personality disorder are:

Human Beings with feelings, families, friends, and lives! The only difference between us and others is that we suffer with a horribly sad disorder - which we did not choose, didn't want, and don't like....

People with borderline personality disorder are not:

BaD pEoPlE!

Thanks so much everyone... For reading!



Don't you just HaTe StErEoTyPeS?!